20-Year Reunion

 

I just learned that my high school class 20-year reunion is next month!  It hadn’t even occurred to me that I have been out of high school that long.  My cousin, Cindy, broke the news to me yesterday by saying:  ”I can’t believe ‘Ron the Pest’ has been out of high school for 20 years!”

Yes, at one point in my life (and several points subsequent I might add), I was affectionately referred to as ’Ron the Pest’.  This may be confusing to people in my new circle of friends because everyone in my new life knows me as ‘John’.  My full name is John Ronald Pigate but my mother and father called me ‘Ron’ from birth, so that’s what I knew.  After spending a harrowing 7 days in lockdown at Fairview Riverside Psychiatric Ward, I decided it was time to use my first name.  I needed a marker that was ever present with me–signifying a radical life change.  Today, I really prefer ‘John’ to ‘Ron’–it seems to suit. 

But back to ‘Ron the Pest’ … I think I acquired that reputation in junior high school.  Cindy started calling me that first because I was always breaking something, or teasing somebody or tapping my foot too much–to the grave annoyance of someone else–or just generally finding some way to drive a person crazy. 

Today, I don’t do that intentionally, and hopefully I’ve grown up a little bit in the past 20 years or so.  But the 20-year high school reunion…

I don’t expect that many of my classmates would understand where I have come from.  After all, we were always taught that ‘being gay’ was ‘not compatible with Christian values’ and that ‘the Bible clearly says homosexuality is an abomination.’ 

Still, I know there are others in my graduating class that are gay–one of whom came out to me about 15 years ago.  But I wonder when my classmates know after all these years–will they judge me or will they embrace me.  Will they simply gossip about me to our fellow classmates? 

I can hear a friend of mine from here saying, “It simply wouldn’t come up in conversation unless you tell them!”  Yeah, right!  I mean, that’s true… but doesn’t everyone make mental notes of who’s married, who’s been married/divorced, who has a “good job”, who is “living and serving God, and who is not.”  Maybe they don’t do that at your high school reunion, but they do at mine. 

I am not afraid of their judgment of me.  God made me who I am–gay, Christian and all.  It would be nice if we could all walk in each other’s shoes for a while–to see what the other person sees.  I know that if I was able to do that–many of the prejudices and fears that I have would probably be shed in an instant. 

I just have to remember that not everyone will love me.  Not everyone will like me.  Some will be afraid of the insecurities I arouse in their own minds.  My life is pretty much an open book on this blog and it feels good to have nothing to hide.  The truth really does set you free!