This past week a handsome, middle-aged man from Minneapolis–and a regular in the Minneapolis recovery circle–took his own life.
I had met this individual only a couple of times and my memory was faint. When I was first told of his death, of course I thought it was tragic, but I must admit it had little impact on me until I read his obituary and saw his photo in the Star Tribune. I wrote the following to my friend:
I thought a lot about this today after I read the obituary. Seeing his face in the picture, even though I may have only seen him in person a few times, just made me pause and consider: there are people around us even now who carry around enormous pain and mental anguish. How easy it is to just have a surface relationship with someone and never know what they are really going through.
It’s interesting how this took on a new dimension realizing the proximity in age that I had with him, the circumstances of recovery, the age in which we both live(d), the mutual friends we knew or know… and how someone could just kill themselves–having gone through what must have been hell beforehand–and coming to the conclusion that life wasn’t worth living. He was one of us. I feel like I know him.
Maybe in this frantic pace we live under of “modern life” we really are far too superficial with one another. Maybe we don’t realize this until something like this happens. This resonated with me today. I thanked John Doe for giving me time to reflect on what I take for granted. I thanked him for reminding me to do everything in my power to keep this from happening to someone I can help.
And for anyone out there reading this… if it ever gets that bad–reach out to someone, write to me–just talk to somebody–there are no hopeless causes and no hopeless people.
Mom,
You never cease to amaze me. I read and re-read what you wrote–there’s a lot in there.
I love you so much!
John Ronald
Your comments about John Doe made me think about how life is around us. Most of the time we all focused on me…me…me. We can’t take the time to give a clerk a smile or a kind word or let someone into traffic.
We are all in too big a hurry, and yet we have no idea that the person we are dealing with may be at the end of their rope. What we say or how we react may be the last straw for that person.
We can always seem to find the time to gossip, judge someone, or brag on ourselves but not take the time to reach out to someone who is hurting. Jesus was never in a hurrry. He took the time to talk to children, heal the sick, cast out demons and to show compassion. He came to the earth to die for our sins, and in the process He was showing and giving examples of how we are supposed to love, forgive and be more like Him.
Sometimes a smile, a helping hand, or a word of encouragment is the path that might lift someone out of deep despair and hopelessness. We may be the only Jesus that some people ever see. We are responsible for our actions and how we treat others. We can all strive to be kind to all God’s creation. May it begin with me.
Thanks for the reminder Ron and remember that I love you and I am always here for YOU.
Mom