Outlines of Me

Written for my buddies in recovery, PRIDE 2006

I often don’t know what to say.

These days I’m stuck–

I’m restless,

Confounded, uptight–

Searching myself,

Hoping–striving–

Cat’s got my tongue–

Stuck in a rut–

Shit outta luck!

My roommate, Tony,

Doesn’t think I’m a phony.

And I wanted you all to know–

Although I don’t say much

About myself,

My feelings and such–

I’m slowly exposing

These fragments–these snapshots.

The dark room is closed

But I am still working.

When I can see

Clear outlines of me–

Through unconcious leanings

Faint shadows I see–

I’ll be thrilled

To give you a peek–

When I can see

Clear the outlines of me.

When the developer

Gives me the Word

I’ll be more than happy–

To let you see.

So bear with me for now

I am working it out.

I’m no different

No less troubled.

Just like everyone here

My life has gone South.

I’m just a little bit shy and

Not everything that happens

Comes out of my mouth.